Fashions for the Gracious Woman

Gracious Woman is Sears' euphemism for middle aged woman. When I think of a gracious woman, I think of Jackie Kennedy. I don't see Jackie Kennedy wearing any of these dresses. My grandmother wore dresses like these. She was a gracious woman. Red, brown and orange stripes evoke pleasant memories. I felt a little violated seeing my memories superimposed upon these models. It is jarring. I miss her.

These dresses are just ugly, especially the blue one in the middle. It looks like the nightmare before a geometry test. Note how the scarf on the dress on the left is arranged to perfectly match the butterfly pattern on the dress. One half of the butterfly is on the dress and the matching half is on the scarf. Weird.

Alfred E. Neuman's mother used to be a Sears model. What, me worry? Not in my easy care Dacron dress.

These things can stop a bullet! Don't worry, you perverts, the sexy lingerie is on another page.

I have seen simpler suspension bridge plans. Please back off at least ten feet before this thing is unzipped. No telling what a structure like that is supposed to hold back.

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