It Came From the 1971 Sears Catalog: Two Rugs, Two Children

Two Children and Two Area Rugs

Matthew, age 5. 1906 Blake Dr.

I like this green rug. I feel safe on this little carpet island. I like to sit on this carpet with Scamp and pretend that I am in a big peaceful meadow. I imagine that this a carpet of cool grass. Mommy does not let me play on real grass because it makes my clothes dirty. Mommy says that if my clothes are dirty everybody will think she is a bad mother.

Mommy threatened put Scamp to sleep because he made messes but Daddy pointed out that this indoor-outdoor rug with its tough, dense olefin pile resists stains, fading and mildew better than any carpet fiber made and also Daddy threatened to put Mommy to sleep. Mommy is happy when we sit quietly on the rug because we are not making messes. Mommy does not like messes because they make everyone think she is a bad person. Everything must be nice and neat.

I can hear her yelling at Daddy about leaving his beer cans all over the house. Daddy says he has to drink beer all the time because Mommy is a neurotic harpy. I'm not sure what that means. We don't have a harp and I don't understand why playing the harp would make someone drink beer all the time. One time a lady that played the harp came to our school. I asked the teacher if the harp music made her feel like drinking a lot of beer. The teacher did not answer but Mommy and Daddy had to go with me to school the next day and talk to my teacher. When we got home, they yelled at each other and accused each other of making me crazy. For the rest of the week they refused to talk to each other. Maybe Mommy is a bad harp player. I think I'll ask her to try a different musical instrument so that Daddy won't drink beer all the time.

Jennifer, age 5. 1908 Blake Dr.

One day, Pooh Bear, they are going to be sorry for making fun of me and hurting my feelings. Especially, Kevin. He's going to be really, really sorry. They will all be sorry for laughing at me because I'm going to get a gun and blow their arms, legs and heads off. And then I'll take a kitchen knife and cut their hearts out and stuff them down their throats so that they can't laugh at me anymore. Their blood will run all over the place. Our classroom will be the same color as this Fiesta Cranberry, woven-look, Looped Pile rug with a skid resistant waffle rubber back. Yes, they will all pay with their lives. Except for Matt. I like him. He's cute and says funny things.

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Two Children and Two Area Rugs